Instead I'm just invisible...

Hi.
I'm back again.
After the busy opening of the school year,
Finally can stay down to update my blog.
But I know it's to allergic to someone who read this.

Yeah, Like the title I typed,
INSTEAD I'M JUST INVISIBLE...
Need to say sorry to Kai Yun since I stole her title...
Haha...

This year, it happened again.
Maybe I'm not active enough to listen their conversation...
Maybe I don't understand either one between their conversation...
But all I did these passed few days was ignorance, emotion and alone.

I know I'm not good enough to fit all of you,
and I know I can only comfort you when all of you have something with each other...
PLEASE,
I'm not a problem solver nor a good speaker.
And I'm a human
A human contains feelings.
I'm not the one who you come with questions and go without answers.

I know I shouldn't jealous at all...
But still this feeling occurs when I saw I'm just the only one who just sitting aside and doing homework alone..
WY and YK are always the one who be my ears and heard me out.
Have all of you heard me out before?
Maybe I'm cheerful outside, but inside I still got aloness...

I also know I shouldn't blame you'all.
Because I never shared any of my problems with you'all
Because I never want to share my weak side to you'all.
Because I never give you a time to look at me clearly.
I only felt complete when I chat with YK or WY.

Maybe I also need to thanks to my brother,
I think He's quite mature these few days,
helping me to solve some problem...
Bro, Thanks! Although you always say i act like I'm smaller than you,
You looked like you cared me a lot,
Still, I'm still older than you right??

I'm typing these,
not just only want you'all to see it..
and i never did, since all of you never notice my presence,
i just want to scream and shout all my stress and pressures out...

Although I always tried to observe
things that you like,
foods that you like,
something you need,
feelings that you should have,
BUT.
I think you never observe mine once.

Two months more, my mom will be back...
I'm so happy and I'm looking forward it!!
and for the first time,
I got a nose bleed after my library duty,
and a dead headache after Wednesday practice,
figuring out what problem that I have.
Ever since I never got a nose bleed in my whole 17 years,
today was my first time,
in front of my magazine, my dad.
and the tissues were full with blood
it's terrible.
I hope I'm fine and trying to overcome these busy days.

Form 5, SPM time.
All i looking forwards is,
the time that I can travel with YK and WY,
and having college time with them...
not my worst SPM results...
but still, I wish i can score well since add maths and account is a big headache.

Hehe~ Time to go,
BYE